Thursday, June 16, 2016

DATING? What is your “Fantasy-Romance” life with Men?

(a is the first, b is the second, c is the third)
I have read____romance novels

2. When I am with my women friends we spend___much
time talking about men, problems with me/men, sex.
most of the conversations

3. When I go out I dress up to
look good for fun, because I like to look good
to meet with friends who might or might not be perspective dating partners
to meet someone special for dating

4. When I buy perfume, clothes, lingerie, my focus is on
pleasing myself
what I might wear now in the bedroom for my partner
for future partner(s) to please them

5. My romantic relationships usually last
a few weeks or months…after the first sexually part fades,
he or I lose interest
a while…
the sexual part becomes a deeper friendship, and might last
for years.

6. How do I feel IF I’m not in a relationship with a man
lonely, sexually frustrated, lost, missing some part of me,
sometimes feel desperate
ok…but am just waiting for the next man/relationship hoping
“He’s the ONE.”
I’m OK on my own…have my own interests, friends, work

7. After an unsuccessful relationship, have you ever worked on yourself in counseling therapy, 12-step work, meditation?
no, not interested
yes, occasionally.
yes, when I need to change, I seek whatever help I need

Your Fantasy Romance Life with Men is:

a. Not realistic, needy, over dramatic. Seek to develop platonic relationships and friendships with men, so you learn to appreciate them a people first, sexual partners second. Beat a path to professional counseling! (Best to choose a man for counseling who is happily married!)

b. A bit co-dependent but also goal focused. Relax, enjoy your interests, work, and be open to opportunities to develop long term friendships/romance with new men. Counseling might help you develop good self esteem. And partners will be attracted to your confidence.

c. This is the stablest life style with the least fantasy. Men will
perceive you as open but not needy, as interesting and trustworthy. 

                       Friendship first + great sex = commitment.

Ideal: best friend who becomes your romantic partner. Someone who will bring you soup if you are sick or help you fix your computer (whatever his expertise).

(c) Copyright, Barbara Roberts, June, 2016. All rights reserved.

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