How to Handle a Ruler
Alexander the Great was pacing before his teacher,
Aristotle.
“Sit down, Alex, you’re making me nervous.” The huge
elephant of a conqueror plopped down on his thrown.
“I just don’t know what to do, Aris. It’s all
making me crazy. We’re losing men in the Western province, and my feet are
hurting. Just can’t find the right sandal maker.”
“OK. OK. Well, let’s look at one problem at a time,
like I taught you when you were a boy. You’ve conquered Mesopotamia by land and
brought 8,000 men over the mountain ridge into Constantinople last week. How
did the elephants fare? I heard there were rainstorms, and some of them lost
their footing in the mud.”
“Only lost three elephants out of 80, but, dang, those
things are heavy when they go down! Have a good elephant man though, and he
pulled them through. Seems like a trainer had cut back on their rations. That’s
all. Just needed to feed them on the spot, and they were right as rain. Excuse
the pun.” Alexander fidgeted with his crown.
“So let’s go to our maps, and see where we need
reinforcements this week.” Aristotle’s noble face turned to his friend and
student. “You know. I can’t always be doing this for you. I’m needed at the
Pantheon to do my gig at the Acropolis. Don’t want to spread myself too thin,
if you know what I mean. But for you, Alex, anything.”
“Thanks, my friend. I feel better knowing I can talk
this over. Even conquerors need down time. Can your page here bring me some
wine and bread? Haven’t eaten since breakfast, and I am used to my three
squares. After all, I’m a growing boy.” Aristotle let his eyes roll, and both
men laughed. Alexander’s massive body rivaled some of the elephants.
“OK. So the provinces are done. Now, how are the
captured peoples?” Aristotle went through their usual list of items conquerors
need to attend to.
“Just checking that all are being treated well. You
know, it’s important for our image to be kind to the conquered people. Don’t
let your men get sloppy and take food out of their homes. Doesn’t look good,
and after all – your army is the highest paid in centuries. They can certainly learn to act like
gentlemen after a battle.” Aristotle reached for an herbal beverage. He wasn’t
a liquor sort of guy. Tarnished his reputation as a thinker.
“Aris,” the younger one looked up. “I need some new
generals for the overland conquests. Some of our older men want to go home and
be with their families. Say they’ve been gone too long and miss their kids.
What should I be looking for in the incoming batch? Any new ideas for
leadership?”
Aristotle nodded. “The new scholars in Greece have
been talking about something called “physiognomy” or “Face Reading.” It’s all
the rave in the sun cities. And easy to understand. I’ve started incorporating
it into my own work. Last week I met with Socrates who was really with it for
once. He had heard of it, too. Sometimes he’s a bit too cerebral, but no one is
perfect.
“So how does it work, Aris? I want to choose the top
of the crop of the men coming into the field, if you know what I mean.”
Alexander liked to make farming references as he knew nothing about land but
wanted to appear intellectually superior (as he wasn’t always the sharpest
sword in the sheath.)
Aristotle got out the writing board which he issued
for visuals. “For your uses, let’s see.
You’d need a soldier that has these qualities:
Brave and
fearless in battle.
Quick
and mentally agile. Able to grasp complicated battle strategies.
Sort of rugged looking. Outdoorsy sort of guy. Able to
enjoy living in
put
up tents all year round.
Powerful
looking. Looks like he would command leadership over the
guys.
Able
to inspire the men, so they follow and don’t take the camels
out
on picnics.
Approachable.
Can throw a mean dice and joke it up with the troops.
“So what does a man like this look like?”
Aristotle walked back and forth in front of the throne
popping grapes in his mouth. “OK. Here’s what the Face Reading stuff says
you’ll need. They are called “Facial Features.” Physical Patterns. And the
best military man’s face should include these facial features.” He raised his
chalk to write. Alexander sat up to pay attention. He had to memorize the
information and burn it into his huge head. There won’t much papyrus to go
around these days. Plus, his robe didn’t have any pockets. Direct recall was
the best even if it hurt all his brain cells to think so much. Those metal
helmets in battle had been too small, he told himself.
Aristotle continued, “You’ll want a ‘big, broad wide forehead’ for the
strategy part, so he will be clever and smarter than his commander.” He winked
good naturedly at his friend. ‘High cheek
bones’ means loves to travel. You’ll need that. A man on the go doesn’t
take a lot of toiletries. ‘Full, thick
beard’ shows an outdoors person. Those ‘sparse
beards’ mean a man is immature. Might just stop into his middle of a battle
and have an outdoor cook-out. Can’t have that. The key is the jaw structure.
All great warriors and leaders, men of state who move the world have ‘huge jaws’ and ‘forward thrusting chins.’ That’s really the key, Alex. Look for the
‘huge jaw and forward chin,’ means
dynamic leader with forceful presence. And I bet the other facial features will
follow.”
Alexander nodded. So much less to remember. He liked
this Face Reading stuff better all the time. No need to cloud the mind with too
many facts.
“For the being a ‘guy’s guy,’ I’d go with the ‘big front teeth’ and a ‘wide mouth.’ Makes a man look strong and
forceful with a tinge of rollicking laughter. Kind of adds a nice touch, don’t
you think? Also, ‘very small eyes’ and elephant ‘big
ears’ help. Creates a blend of
someone who is watchful and listens well. That way you don’t have to pay the
spies as much. They usually want too many coins for travel time. And they’ve
been known to work on both sides if they feel they’re not appreciated.”
“Isn’t that the truth!” Alexander nodded. “So we’ve got ourselves a visual picture of a
great general. Thanks so much for the tips.”
“And just remember that it doesn’t make any different what
province or tribe the soldier comes from. These are universal facial features
that apply to all men.” Aristotle put down his chalk and came to sit on his
simple chair near the throne.
“Righted, tighy then,” nodded Alexander. “So how are
the boys at the Pantheon, Aris? What else is new?” And so they went on to talk
of other topics.
(c) Copyright, September, 2012. Barbara Roberts. All rights reserved.
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